5-14-12

So, I'm gonna call you dudes in like two hours, so I don't really know what I'm gonna write for this week.  Actually, you bros are calling me.  I'm too important to make such menial calls. 

Anyways, so this week has been pretty cool, I guess.  Last Monday I played cricket for the first time.  I didn't actually get injured, but the emotional scars will take years to heal.  Haha, yeah, cricket was like the suckiest thing ever.  It's like a big deal, so pretty much the whole village was there playing, and then like all the chiefs were sitting on the sides watching.  Anyways, so they made me go up and bat, but freak, I had no idea what to do.  Haha, everybody was laughing at me and I kinda just looked like an idiot in front of the whole village.  But it's cool--I guess I'm used to looking dumb in front of lots of people.

So yeah, this week was good though, as work goes.  We got two investigators to commit to baptismal dates and to get married.  Faasinoala and Palepa.  Faasinoala is totally ready--she's way strong.  She just has to be married before she can be baptized. And Palepa needs to be married too, but also she hasn't come to church yet, so we're gonna work with her to come to church and stuff.  But it's good.

Also this week we started doing family prayer and scripture study in the mornings with the family we live with--that's been pretty good.  And on Saturday they made us get up way early and do "zumba"--that weird dance/aerobics thing.  Haha, my companion was way stoked on it--he was getting way into it.  I thought my comp knew me pretty well until he thought I would be excited about doing "zumba."  Haha, yeah it wasn't that cool. 

So anyways, another cool thing this week--actually it was like two weeks ago--but the girl that we baptized back earlier this year--Tala--came over to our house and asked for a blessing cause she had a big test coming up and she was really nervous.  Anyways, so I was asked to give the blessing, which I was pretty nervous for cause so far I've never really given any blessings in Samoa.  So anyways, I gave her the blessing and then we found out this week that she took the top of her class!  Haha, I was stoked.  She's got a lot of faith.  Their whole family is freakin' dope--I'm way stoked on them.  They're way mega strong in the church--it's been crazy to see their progression.

Anyways, keep it thirsty, thirsty for the gnar,
Elder Eric R. Johansen
The Fresh Prince of Samoa 2012


Mother's Day (for America)

Sup you guys,
So I just barely called you guys like an hour ago or something.  So this letter is in response to that.  Mom asked what a normal day was like.  So it's pretty much like 6:30 am we have family scripture study and prayer with the family we live with.  Then we get ready and bathe our bodies and stuff.  And then at 8:00 it's personal study.  Lately I've been reading a lot of New Testament.  It's really good stuff.  I'm stoked on the scriptures.  I should probably spend more time studying the lessons cause I wanna get better at teaching, but most of the time I just get distracted reading the Book of Mormon or the New Testament or something for the whole time. 

So then at 9:00 it's usually companion study.  But really that hardly ever happens, so I usually just keep reading whatever I was reading.  But sometimes we have comp study and it's really good cause we figure out ways to help our investigators and stuff.  But it's good.  We're getting a lot better at doing all that little stuff like that.  It's been really good.  And then at 10:00 it's usually language study.  A lot of the time that's when the family we live with has food ready, so sometimes I miss out on language study.  But I read from the Book of Mormon in  Samoan like every chance I get, so it kinda makes up for it.  But I'm trying to do better with that too cause I wanna get dank Samoan. 

So then for the most part we then begin proselyting at 11:00 and we just go make visits or teach lessons or do things of that nature.  Lately we've been doing a lot more member strengthening and stuff trying to get people ready for the temple.  So it's been good.  And then at 6:00 is our fafaga, where we eat with the members.  And that can generally go til like seven thirty or as late as nine thirty.  It really just depends.  Sometimes we get there and they're totally not ready, so we have to wait for like an hour or longer.  So yeah, it's good though. 

And then after the fafaga we just go home cause missionaries aren't allowed to proselyte in the evenings cause in Samoa they have what is called the Sa, which is where every family has to go home in the evening and read the Bible or church books and sing church hymns and pray and be with their families.  It's pretty much enforced in every village.  They have all these dudes stand on the side of the streets and they'll beat you up if you break the Sa--like if you're walking on the road when they blow the horn for the Sa, you just have to sit down wherever you are and wait til the Sa is over, which is like fifteen or twenty minutes or so.  It's kind of a cultural thing--but it's good though.  It just shows how religious Samoa is.  It's like illegal to be anything other than Christian, which is good for us at least.  So yeah, we usually just go home after we eat.  I generally just get more study in.  So it's good.  It's kinda nice to have the evenings to just rest and stuff.  So yeah, then I usually write in my journal.  Sometimes I forget and then take a shower and at 10:30 it's sleepy time.  So yeah, that's a day for me in Samoa--generally it's not all that exciting, mostly the same stuff every day.  So it's good, no danks, no bones, no beans. 

Also, siblings, haha, sorry to you all.  I can't relate to anyone anymore.  I had no clue what to say to you on the phone.  It's cool though.  I think I've just matured too much to take a part in your petty humor.  I'm a sophisticated man now--get on my level.  Haha, but nah--it's weird being on a mission.  I didn't really know what to say to you dudes.  ALL IS DANK IN SAMOA.  That's what I should have said to you.  So, oh well, maybe I'll be able to relate to you at some point in the far future.  Until then, keep shreddin' the gnar.

Also, haha, sorry mom, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!  I think I totally forgot to tell you.  Yeah, when I picked up the phone, I was expecting you guys to call on the other phone, so I was expecting someone Samoan talking to me.  So yeah, way to go--keep steezin' the buttery bones.  I'll finish this letter later tonight after we hear about transfers so you can have the hottest scoop on all the gossip.

Alright............................................................................................So here's the scoop:  My comp is getting transferred to Upolu--he's the zone leader now.  And I'm training a new missionary.  Uhhhhh.....haha yeah.  Freak, haha, this is gonna be way good for me/my Samoan, but I feel like I still don't know what the heck I'm doin' out here.  Haha, yeah what the heck.  I don't know who it is, just someone from the American MTC group.  So this'll be way good.  But freak, haha.  I'm pretty freakin' sketched out.  I'm not gonna lie.  So we'll have to see how it goes down.  I'll let you know next week what goes down. 
Love,
Elder Johansen

4-30-12

Sup Goat Breath,

No much goin' on really.  We're just chillin' hard, shreddin' the gnar like it's 1996.  Not a whole lot goin' on for this week.  It's all dopeness.  It was sick like a cool kiss from a frozen goat baby.

Pretty much the only thing that really happened this week was that we had a service project over in Samataiuta.  That's the village that just closed up again.  So we're not allowed to go proselyte in there anymore.  So the family that we went to do service for is related to the family that we're living with, so we might have an "in" with them.  The family we did service for isn't members, and apparently they have a son and a daughter that wanna get baptized.  But we'll just have to see.  That kinda happens a lot.  People are always referring us to people that they say wanna get baptized, but then it turns out they want nothing to do with the church. So yeah, we just went to their house and cut down the brush and pulled weeds and stuff.  So it was good.

Other than that, this week has been pretty uneventful.  We've just been making visits n' stuff.  Nothing too wild.  I got your package this week.  Thanks, haha.  Yeah, it was dope.  I was stoked.  All the weird stuff was cool.  Haha.  And the candy lasted like five minutes.  Pretty much once one person finds out there's a box of candy, it's all downhill from there.  I chewed on the beehive for about an hour last night.  It was nice.  Haha, I don't know what I'm gonna do with all those "Elder Johansen" cards.  There's like 10,000 of them or something. 

But yeah, we have a few investigators that we're working with--Palepa, who is finished with all the lessons but needs to get married first, so we're kinda waiting on that.  She hasn't really been to church either, so we're gonna have to get her up in there.  So I guess we'll see.  I'm not quite sure what's in store for us for the next few weeks.  I guess we'll just have to see.  Anyways, there's not much really goin' on.

Keep shredin' the gnar on the 8th.

Love,
Elder Eric R. Johansen
PS  Send me stamps please.  Thanx
PPS  Sup, here's my sd card.  Get pictures printed at Walmart or something and send them to me.  That would be sweet.  Some of the pics and vids are pretty sweet. There's like a half hour of vids from when those dudes killed that cow.  That was cool.  Get pictures printed of me with the baby pig.  I like those ones.  Get like fifty pics printed.  Also, send this sd card back to me when you're through with it. 
Anyways, -E

4-23-12

Wazzup Lady,

It’s your boy here getting’ welched on the smorkgnar.  Back wizziez all day, brother. 

So yeah, this week has been pretty cool.  We had two baptisms on Saturday.  That was really good. We were supposed to have another but she didn’t show up to the wedding, so it didn’t work out.  Yeah cause we had two investigators that needed to be married first, so we just scheduled the weddings for the same day, on Thursday.  But only Ruta and her husband showed up, so she was able to get baptized.  And then we baptized Ailva, who’s 9.  He’s dope gnar too, so it was good.  I got to do both of the baptisms, so that was cool.  I even wore a white ielavlava—it was sick.  But I forgot to get pictures, so maybe next time. 

Oh yeah, also send me back my two sd cards if you haven’t already shipped them.  I just want the one with pics from the MTC and then the most recent one with stuff from Samoa.  That would be dankness, thankx.

But yeah, other than that, not a whole lot has been going on really.  We’ve just been teaching lessons and preparing Ailva and Ruta for baptism.

I’d say the only other exciting thing that happened this week was that all those chicken eggs hatched that the chicken laid in the corner of my room.  My comp was all mad at me cause we were gonna buy some bread and fry up the eggs, but I forgot to take the eggs out of the pile of clothes in the corner and they hatched.  I’m not really sure at what point they turn from eggs into little chickens, so it’s probably best that we left them alone anyway.

But yeah, all is dopeness. Living with a family is way cool.  I like it way better.  The only thing that sucks is that they don’t use toilet paper cause it’s expensive, I guess.  They just use notebook paper, haha.  But it’s cool.  I’m dope with it.  I shred the gnar whichever way the gnar should be shred.

So yeah, brothers, I can’t really think of anything else to tell you.  This week has been pretty cool, I guess.  If you ever get the chance to send a package, can you send Old Spice and an English Bible?  That would be sweet—just one of those old bibles from the basement or something will work.

Keep shreddin’

Elder Eric R. Johands n’ lips

4-17-12

Sup Famlegs,

Not much is goin’ on here—just chillin’ hard with gnar always in sight.  It’s most likely the shreddable type, you know how these sort of things are.

So yeah, things are goin’ good.  This week has been pretty cool, I guess.  On Tuesday we moved in with a family in Samata.  That’s been really cool.  The family is dope.  We’ve stayed with them before, so it’s nothing new.  It’s been sweet though.  We pretty much live like Samoans.  The family has like four kids, but the oldest three don’t live here.  Their oldest son, Price, just left on his mission.  He’s serving here, so I’ll probably see him around.  And then they have a three year old daughter named Soul.  She’s pretty funny about half the time and then the other half she’s just really annoying.  Haha. 

The house we live in is like a little separate house across from where the family lives.  The front of it is a traditional Samoan fale o’o with no walls and a grass roof.  But then it has a little room built on to the back of it. One time the little three year old locked me and my companion in the back room and I had to climb out a window to get out.  Haha, but living here has been really cool—I’m stoked on it.  We both sleep on the floor, but on different sides of the house.  I think my comp’s afraid that we’ll fall over in the night and start snuggling.  So it’s cool.  The other day I saw this humongous spider—it was the coolest.  It was like tarantula size—right on the wall by where I sleep.  Also there is this chicken that keeps trying to sneak into my room.  It is very sneaky.  Sometimes I almost don’t catch it.  It creeps in very quietly or sometimes it goes in through the window.  I’m pretty sure it laid eggs in this pile of clothes in the corner—so we’ll see what happens with that.

The bathroom is kind of like an outhouse but it has running water.  It’s like super far away, so that kinda sucks.  And the shower is just a little shack with three walls where the water comes out of a pipe.  I ran into some awkward situations the first time we stayed here with the shower having an open wall, but now I’ve got it down pat.  My comp neglected to tell me that everybody just showers with an ie lavalava.

Oh yeah…the night before we left from Faiaai, we were chilling with the family next door and I was looking around trying to catch lizards and I got one but it did that thing where it’s tail comes off and it gets away.  So the tail was just wriggling around on the floor. So I put it in this kid’s ear that was asleep and he got up and got all mad.  Haha—it was funny.  I don’t know if that story made any sense, but it was funny. 

So yeah, things are dope here.  We finally watched General Conference on Saturday and Sunday.  We missed the Saturday morning sesh cause they had it at 5:00 in the morning and didn’t tell anyone.  And then they were gonna have another sesh in English in another room, but they didn’t end up doing it.  So I was kinda bummed.  My Samoan’s alright at this point, but I didn’t really get as much from it as I would have liked.  So, I guess I’ll have to wait til the Liahona comes out or something.  But it’s cool.  By the way, all you Spanish speakin’ people have it real easy.  Spanish is like the easiest language ever—half the words sound just like English, just slightly different.  Samoan is a lot harder to pick up.

So yeah, this week’s been dope.  We have some investigators we’re preparing for baptism—hopefully this Saturday—two of which still need to be married, but we might do that on Thursday.  At least that’s the plan.  We also have another investigator in Fagafau preparing to be baptized.  The one in Fagafau is just a nine year old baptism.  He should be real easy to teach cause he’s been going to church all his life.  If we can get all the lessons done, we’ll baptize him this Saturday.  So the work is going good.  Everything is dope gnar and a rating of 14.C.

Oh yeah, so a lot of people in the village are really envious of the family we live with cause they think they’re rich.  Haha, but it’s weird to me cause I think if it was back home, they would probably be considered really poor.  My mindset has changed though.  Haha, like if we go to a visit and a family has like a fridge or a car or a microwave, in my mind I’m thinking like, wow—these guys are rich!  But then I think back home these people would still be poor.  Haha, it’s just funny.  Like here you’re pretty much considered well off if you can afford to eat food like spam and bread and ramen all the time.  But back home, that’s like what the most hoboey hobos eat.  In Upolu they eat a lot more of that stuff though, but Savaii’s more legit.  We eat dirt and dog skin and we like it.

So yeah, it’s dope.  Me and my comp are still killin’ the dank.  I’m gonna make him teach me how to play rugby good so I can come home and show everybody up.  Oh yeah, one time we were making a visit and the guy that we were talking to was watching rugby.  But it just so happened that he was watching my companion’s rugby team play.  Haha, so my comp was kinda distracted I guess, but I really don’t blame him.

Anyways, yeah, things are goat gnar.

Love,

Elder Johansens

The Fresh Prince of Samoa

4-9-12

Sup Rat Farm,

It’s just me here keepin’ the fresh gnar.  Double dank bones gnar good.  So yeah, this week was pretty cool—we’ve been busy doin’ some stuff and things.  We had three baptisms on Saturday—that was really good.  All three of them actually live in the area next to ours, down at the bottom in Taga.  But since Elder Bailey went home and Elder Tafiti got transferred to Upolu, the last couple of weeks we’ve been going in and teaching lessons.  It’s been real good.  The baptisms were really good.  My comp did them all.  I’ve pretty much performed all our baptisms so far, so I thought he could get to do some.  Two of them are brothers—they’re like 10-12 or so.  And the other girl is like eighteen—she’s the one that doesn’t know how to read.  But she goes to seminary like every day and she’s stoked on the church, so she should be alright.  She can’t even write her own name.  It’s kinda sad.  A lot of kids go to school here, but some just don’t get the opportunity for whatever reason.  But it’s all good.

So yeah, I hit six months this week.  That was pretty cool, I guess.  I didn’t burn anything.  I guess you’re supposed to burn something at six months.  Yeah, oh well.  It’s crazy though, the time is runnin’ quick.  It feels like I just got here—time is goin’ crazy fast.  But yeah.  Also yesterday was Easter.  That was pretty cool, I guess.  Technically today is Easter for all you American folk.  Today’s Monday for me, but Sunday for you guys.  So yeah, happy Easters.  We didn’t really do much.  We pretty much just went to like seven hours of church and then had some food and then went to a fireside back in Faiaai.  It was good though—a stokeage day to the days.  Thanks for the Easter package, by the way.  I gave all the eggs to the family next door to us.  They didn’t hide them though, they just ate them straight up.  I don’t think Samoans actually believe in the Easter bunny.

Oh yeah, so this week was transfers as well.  So I’m still with my same companion, Elder Nansen.  But that’s cool—we’re dope gnar.  We get along really good.  And we technically sort of got transferred, but not really—cause our area now covers from Faiaai to Faga Fau.  But now we just cover Samata and Fagafau.  They pretty much just cut our area in half.  And now they’re putting sisters in Faiaai and Fogatuli.  But it’s cool.  Pretty much all of our work is in Samata and Fagafau anyway.  So I’m not really that cut.  We’ll be living with a family too—that should be cool.  I’ll probably end up sleeping on the floor for the next little while.  But it’s cool.  We’re not really sure which family we’ll live with—but I guess we’ll have to see.  I guess the days of our four man zone are over too.  They put in three other companionships.  Hopefully it’ll be cool.  I’m just kinda stoked on how it is now, though.  There’s only four of us, but we’re still having more success than any other zone on the island.  So, hopefully, these new peeps know how to work hard—otherwise it’ll just slow down the work.  But yeah, it’s shredgnar by the brothers.

So yeah…I’m trying to think of what else happened this week.  We have some investigators that we’re teaching right now, but the problem is that all of them need to be married first before they can be baptized.  One in Fagagau, Ruta, was supposed to be married like last week, but the stake president said he was too busy.  So yeah, we’re pretty much working on getting some marriages soon.  That happens a lot in Samoa—people live together for years, but they’re not actually married.  I don’t know why though—it’s actually a super easy process.  Yeah, so that’s what we’re doing with our other investigators—teachin’ and preparin’ for marriage.  There’s like three couples that need to be married.  I guess the one in Faiaai we’ll just leave to the sisters.  So yeah, the work is goin’ really good.  Things are sick fresh steeze neck.

Oh yeah—I had snails the other day.  I thought it was gonna be grody, but it was actually really good.  They had this big bowl of sea snails.  You just shake it til it comes out of it’s shell and then you just eat the whole thing.  Nah, for real—it was good.  I guess I should be worried about what people think.  Just like it says on Arthur:  “Life can be tough as nails when your friends think you’re a guy who likes to eat snails.”

Anyways, with that I leave you,

Elder Eric R. Joham n’ cheese